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Carl Jung's near-death experience


In a hospital in Switzerland in 1944, the world-renowned psychiatrist Carl G. Jung, had a heart attack and then a near-death experience. His vivid encounter with the light, plus the intensely meaningful insights led Jung to conclude that his experience came from something real and eternal. Jung's experience is unique in that he saw the Earth from a vantage point of about a thousand miles above it. His incredibly accurate view of the Earth from outer space was described about two decades before astronauts in space first described it. Subsequently, as he reflected on life after death, Jung recalled the meditating Hindu from his near-death experience and read it as a parable of the archetypal Higher Self, the God-image within. Carl Jung, who founded analytical psychology, centered on the archetypes of the collective unconscious. The following is an excerpt from his autobiography entitled Memories, Dreams, Reflections describing his near-death experience.

It seemed to me that I was high up in space. Far below I saw the globe of the Earth, bathed in a gloriously blue light. I saw the deep blue sea and the continents.  Far below my feet lay Ceylon, and in the distance ahead of me the subcontinent of India. My field of vision did not include the whole Earth, but its global shape was plainly distinguishable and its outlines shone with a silvery gleam through that wonderful blue light. In many places the globe seemed colored, or spotted dark green like oxidized silver. Far away to the left lay a broad expanse - the reddish-yellow desert of Arabia; it was as though the silver of the Earth had there assumed a reddish-gold hue. Then came the Red Sea, and far, far back - as if in the upper left of a map - I could just make out a bit of the Mediterranean. My gaze was directed chiefly toward that. Everything else appeared indistinct. I could also see the snow-covered Himalayas, but in that direction it was foggy or cloudy. I did not look to the right at all. I knew that I was on the point of departing from the Earth.

Later I discovered how high in space one would have to be to have so extensive a view - approximately a thousand miles!  The sight of the Earth from this height was the most glorious thing I had ever seen.

After contemplating it for a while, I turned around. I had been standing with my back to the Indian Ocean, as it were, and my face to the north. Then it seemed to me that I made a turn to the south. Something new entered my field of vision. A short distance away I saw in space a tremendous dark block of stone, like a meteorite. It was about the size of my house, or even bigger. It was floating in space, and I myself was floating in space.

I had seen similar stones on the coast of the Gulf of Bengal. They were blocks of tawny granite, and some of them had been hollowed out into temples. My stone was one such gigantic dark block. An entrance led into a small antechamber. To the right of the entrance, a black Hindu sat silently in lotus posture upon a stone bench. He wore a white gown, and I knew that he expected me. Two steps led up to this antechamber, and inside, on the left, was the gate to the temple. Innumerable tiny niches, each with a saucer-like concavity filled with coconut oil and small burning wicks, surrounded the door with a wreath of bright flames. I had once actually seen this when I visited the Temple of the Holy Tooth at Kandy in Ceylon; the gate had been framed by several rows of burning oil lamps of this sort.

As I approached the steps leading up to the entrance into the rock, a strange thing happened: I had the feeling that everything was being sloughed away; everything I aimed at or wished for or thought, the whole phantasmagoria of earthly existence, fell away or was stripped from me - an extremely painful process. Nevertheless something remained; it was as if I now carried along with me everything I had ever experienced or done, everything that had happened around me. I might also say: it was with me, and I was it. I consisted of all that, so to speak. I consisted of my own history and I felt with great certainty: this is what I am. I am this bundle of what has been and what has been accomplished.

This experience gave me a feeling of extreme poverty, but at the same time of great fullness. There was no longer anything I wanted or desired. I existed in an objective form; I was what I had been and lived. At first the sense of annihilation predominated, of having been stripped or pillaged; but suddenly that became of no consequence.

Everything seemed to be past; what remained was a "fait accompli", without any reference back to what had been. There was no longer any regret that something had dropped away or been taken away. On the contrary: I had everything that I was, and that was everything.

Something else engaged my attention: as I approached the temple I had the certainty that I was about to enter an illuminated room and would meet there all those people to whom I belong in reality. There I would at last understand - this too was a certainty - what historical nexus I or my life fitted into. I would know what had been before me, why I had come into being, and where my life was flowing. My life as I lived it had often seemed to me like a story that has no beginning and end. I had the feeling that I was a historical fragment, an excerpt for which the preceding and succeeding text was missing. My life seemed to have been snipped out of a long chain of events, and many questions had remained unanswered. Why had it taken this course? Why had I brought these particular assumptions with me? What had I made of them? What will follow? I felt sure that I would receive an answer to all the questions as soon as I entered the rock temple. There I would meet the people who knew the answer to my question about what had been before and what would come after.

While I was thinking over these matters, something happened that caught my attention. From below, from the direction of Europe, an image floated up. It was my doctor, or rather, his likeness - framed by a golden chain or a golden laurel wreath. I knew at once: 'Aha, this is my doctor, of course, the one who has been treating me. But now he is coming in his primal form. In life he was an avatar of the temporal embodiment of the primal form, which has existed from the beginning. Now he is appearing in that primal form.'

Presumably I too was in my primal form, though this was something I did not observe but simply took for granted. As he stood before me, a mute exchange of thought took place between us. The doctor had been delegated by the Earth to deliver a message to me, to tell me that there was a protest against my going away. I had no right to leave the Earth and must return. The moment I heard that, the vision ceased.

I was profoundly disappointed, for now it all seemed to have been for nothing. The painful process of defoliation had been in vain, and I was not to be allowed to enter the temple, to join the people in whose company I belonged.

In reality, a good three weeks were still to pass before I could truly make up my mind to live again. I could not eat because all food repelled me. The view of city and mountains from my sickbed seemed to me like a painted curtain with black holes in it, or a tattered sheet of newspaper full of photographs that meant nothing. Disappointed, I thought, "Now I must return to the "box system" again." For it seemed to me as if behind the horizon of the cosmos a three-dimensional world had been artificially built up, in which each person sat by himself in a little box. And now I should have to convince myself all over again that this was important! Life and the whole world struck me as a prison, and it bothered me beyond measure that I should again be finding all that quite in order. I had been so glad to shed it all, and now it had come about that I -  along with everyone else - would again be hung up in a box by a thread.

I felt violent resistance to my doctor because he had brought me back to life. At the same time, I was worried about him. "His life is in danger, for heaven's sake! He has appeared to me in his primal form! When anybody attains this form it means he is going to die, for already he belongs to the "greater company." Suddenly the terrifying thought came to me that the doctor would have to die in my stead. I tried my best to talk to him about it, but he did not understand me. Then I became angry with him.

In actual fact I was his last patient. On April 4, 1944 - I still remember the exact date I was allowed to sit up on the edge of my bed for the first time since the beginning of my illness, and on this same day the doctor took to his bed and did not leave it again. I heard that he was having intermittent attacks of fever. Soon afterward he died of septicaemia. He was a good doctor; there was something of the genius about him. Otherwise he would not have appeared to me as an avatar of the temporal embodiment of the primal form.


An extract from "The unconscious psyche believes in life after death" - Carl Jung MD



The following information is from :-  and is a very small extract
Life After Life.
Is the NDE Proof of Life After Death?

In NDEs (Near Death Experiences) one of the first things the experiencer notices is being outside his body. Below, I have described two typical OBE (Out-of-Body Experience) situations found in NDEs. These are used for illustration purposes and are not intended to be comprehensive.

In the first, the experiencer finds himself floating in the air looking down on the activity below. If this is a hospital room, he will see the doctors and nurses working on his lifeless body. The doctors' conversations will be remembered and the tools they are using identified by the experiencer after he is brought back to life.

In the second, the experiencer leaves the location of his lifeless body and visits other places and/or people. Upon being brought back to life the experiencer will remember in detail the conversations and events seen while OBE. Many of these conversations and events will later be verified by those the experiencer observed while OBE.

The focus here is on the Out-of-Body element because it is the beginning of the NDE. The NDE starts when the body stops. And when the body stops "something" leaves the body. That "something" is the "individual vitality" of the experiencer and it's usually very surprised to find itself free of the body and still alive. That "vitality" has been called "spirit, soul, essence," and a few other words. But these words carry with them a history of interpretation and meaning that tends to distort rather than clarify the event taking place.

Hundreds of NDE-OBE accounts like the ones outlined above are in print at this time. There are estimates ranging from thousands to millions of NDE-OBE occurrences that have not been published.

Do these occurrences, reported by respectable people, prove that life continues after death?

Religious groups are divided on the issue. Most believe in life after death, but only along doctrinal lines. Some support the NDE phenomenon and others reject it saying: "it is the work of the devil." Since the typical NDE includes events of caring, support, and unconditional Love shown to the experiencer. I would say this is strange behavior for the alleged "Source of all Evil."

Scientists are also divided. Some accept. Some reject. The main argument against, is centered on brain chemistry. There are in print many accounts of how brain activity can produce "thoughts, visions, and hallucinations" that are similiar in content to the NDE.

That may be true, but the experiencer would be unaware of these since he is out-of-body at this time and thoroughly enjoying his new view of the surroundings.

Could the OBE part of the NDE be proof of life after death? 

The really interesting part of the NDE comes after one has left the body. This is the part of "Light Tunnels," "Life Reviews," "Feeling surrounded by Love;" speaking with "Deceased Friends," "Light Beings," and "God." This part is a little different in every NDE. (If you're not familiar with the material, run out and buy a few NDE books. Exciting reading.) These events have been catalogued, compared and analyzed in many ways. But, the only way that matters is the personal meaning the NDE has to the experiencer.

And that meaning, almost always, causes profound personality and life style changes in the experiencer. Some NDE experiencers go back to school to become teachers or counselors. Some lecture, write books. Others do volunteer work at Hospices, Nursing Homes and Hospitals. Some open "Centers of Learning" or start classes/support groups. Even those who don't "go public" with their experience are "changed" into kinder and more loving individuals. The impact of the experience is "to change the experiencer" and the "change" lasts a lifetime.

I have never read of hallucinations, delusions, or any other kind of misperception that produced such positive changes in large numbers of scattered individuals. What these individuals experienced certainly had to be real. Only Truth is powerful enough to produce this kind of phenomenon.

Now, is the NDE proof of life after death?

The story is not finished until something is said about what happened that made these individuals change their perception of life.

Simply put. The body ceased to function. They found themselves free from, and outside of their body. They were still alive. They could still see and hear the surrounding activity. They felt different, but were still basically the same person outside the body as they were inside.

Then the Light/Love entered. Light/Love blending together to surround the experiencer with unconditional Love, Peace, and Safety. Many said the Light was "God." They knew they were in the presence of "Higher Intelligence." An intelligence that loved and cared for them. Not many wanted to return to their body. This place was more desirable. But return they did: for one reason or another.

What is significant about this group of NDE experiencers?

The experiencers represent all races of people. All ages. All nationalities. All religions. No religion. Atheists. Theists. Agnostics. Educated. Uneducated. Rich. Poor. Leaders. Homeless. And yes, even the criminals. Murderers, thiefs and such.

The message is clear and to the point. There is life after death.

What they bring back is an expanded perception of what life is about. What they leave behind is their fear of death.

"God's" Love is greater than any mistake we have ever made. The priority of our future is learning to Love. First ourselves. Then one another.



 People's experiences.

Diving into the Shallow End of the Ocean.

I'm 44 and last year I broke my neck while diving into the shallow end of the ocean. Not a recommended recreation. Everything went white and although I realized I had just "bought the farm," the white place seemed very familiar and comfortable.

Below me was my body floating face down in the surf. The irony here is that my business name is Tsunami, which means "great wave." Not being at all concerned with this situation, I had but one regret -- that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to my children. With that thought I re-entered my body through the back/top of my head, the same place from where I left only moments before.

Now I was aware that I was paralysed and couldn't get out of the water, much less sit up and breath, so I tried to leave my body again from the back of my head. Only now I was stuck inside my body, with the sound of the sand underwater and the realization that the air in my lungs was being used up, I was not at all pleased to find myself in this predicament. I said a quick prayer to Creator to help me out (of my body) but before I knew it, a wave had sat me up on the very sandbar I had just smashed into with my head. I could taste blood. My head felt like a white hot nail had just been hammered into it. I tried to wipe off my mouth and face, but my hand was nowhere near where my brain was trying to convince me it was. The other hand was nowhere in sight either.

This was getting worse by the second and I was beginning to panic (in my head). Then a voice (from who knows where) said, "It's time to use other parts of your brain. Just relax and try to touch your finger to your nose. Take your time. You have plenty of brain power in reserve but it needs a little review. Just try to think your finger to your nose."

So I did. It took perhaps five minutes of practice and I must have looked like a DWI refugee. But I managed to touch my finger to my nose WITH MY EYES CLOSED. Then I felt the electricity return to my feet and I could wiggle my toes.

So I stood up and walked out of the ocean and walked 1 1/2 miles back to the house, although very slowly and holding my head on the whole way. I broke the atlas (the first vetibrae) clean in half and severely damaged the ligament inside of that bone. I also fractured the 7th vertibra or the last neck bone. This kind of accident usually results in death (which I KNOW it did) and my doctor is amazed that I'm around to tell the story.

I've had lucid dreams and out of body experiences and have had what I would consider and abduction senario happen since way back in 1964, way before any of this space stuff was in the media. I've also had my mind spontaneously shut off all internal dialogue and had my awareness expand to encompass the entire universe, without prompting and without drugs.

All of these experiences are gifts that have taken me many years to understand. Breaking my neck and being here to tell you about is also a gift... a gift to tell any who wishes to read about it that there is more than just this body and just this life. Your life is an experience. Enjoy and learn. Don't worry. LOVE!!! -- W.D.


The Ice.

About a year ago, I had a strange experience similar to an NDE. I was in the shower when I suddenly blacked out. I had not been drinking, nor have I ever been subject to blackouts in my life.

During this blackout, I found myself standing on a vast sheet of ice. While the ice was cold, the atmosphere was comfortable. A few steps away, I saw a hole in the ice. I looked in, and it was totally black. While I stood there wondering, a sensation like a voice came over me and caused me to understand that, if I should step into the hole, I should leave this life and enter the next. It made no assurances of what I would find upon entry other than the possibility that, once that choice was made, I might never see my wife and daughter again. Upon being confronted with this, I indicated that I didn't want to be separated from them, where upon I woke up in the shower.

My wife had seen me fall, and it understandably frightened her. I was "out" for less than a minute, and I told her the story. She thought I was dreaming, but I felt it was too real to be merely a dream.

What do you think? This experience has fascinated me, and left me wondering, ever since it happened. S.

NDES "& A Change of Life."

Hi, About 5 years ago I came into a "death" experience, where I awoke to a doctor yelling at me in ICU that I hadn't been breathing.

Upon reading my medical records from this experience -- I had not been pronounced "dead" but the ER team had great difficulty in resuscitating me. Needless to say, my life, my beliefs, I, have not been the same since.

I am very much drawn to the subject of "why we are here" -- to a degree I can hardly convey. (And I might add, thank God for Plato!)

I did not have the typical experience of seeing the bright light (etc.) -- I think this is because I chose death on my own -- something I now instinctively know is not allowed -- PERIOD. If posting this is of any help to anyone else -- then I am glad I have done it -- even though I'm reluctant to leave my name.

Just remember -- if you believe (know) that this "world" is not "it" - you are not alone...

With Love, A Kindred Spirit.


Death by Road Accident.

Here is my life's most important experience, first the events leading up to it, my parents report of occurences while I was away, my NDE, and finally how I feel about it.

Scene : 24/02/82, Newcastle Australia, 6;00 pm, Leaving my optical instrument repair firm to go home to Raymond Terrace, Raining after 3 months Dry, I was driving along the Industrial Highway and slowing to stop at lights where exit road from BHP crosses highway, memory ends.

Reported by Miles (my ex-partner): As we approached the lights they changed to green, as we went into the crossing the car aquaplaned, speed 43 kph, we hit the large industrial power pole just after the intersection, Stewart, who was laying on the mattress in the back of the panel van, was thrown forward into the back of Rene's head, driving her into the steering wheel.

Medical Info: Stewart's spine was broken L4, I suffered Fractures Basal area, Frontal Lobe, Right eye socket, Right Zygoma, all depressed, 6 holes in dura, also spokes of steering wheel and indicator entered throat up into roof of mouth, right upper and lower thorax. Miles suffered a small seat belt bruise.

My Mother Reported that: In the afternoon of 25/02/82 they were in the office of Professor anonymous (Professor of Neurosurgery) where the prof. was reporting my death and that they should be grateful, as I would have been a vegetable had I survived, during this conversation a young frightened Nurse came rushing into the office, blurting out "She is alive, she sat up and spoke!," the prof. chastised her for interrupting them 3 times before taking her outside and lecturing her about "dead bodies" moving and making noises, the Nurse was emphatic, She sat up and said: "Don't give me any more Drugs!," at this point my mother took the prof. by one elbow, my father by his and marched them down the corridor to see, they found me in a back corridor where I had apparently been placed so the nurse could remove equipment prior to my transfer to the Morgue, I was in deep coma and breathing, I remained in coma for a further 10 days.

I don't know when in the above events my experience took place. I have no memory of the process of dying or leaving my body. I was moving head first through a dark malstorm of what looked like black boiling clouds, feeling that I was being beckoned to the sides which frightened me, ahead was a tiny dot of bright light which steadily grew and brightened as I drew nearer, I became aware that I must be dead and was concerned for Mum & Dad and my Sister, and somewhat upset with myself as I thought "they will soon get over it" like it was in passing just a fleeting thought as I rushed greedily forward towards this light.

I arrived in an explosion of glorious light into a room with insubstantial walls, standing before a man about in his 30's about 6 foot tall, reddish brown shoulder length hair and an incredibly neat, short beard & mo., He wore a simple white robe, light seemed to eminate from Him and I felt He had great age and wisdom. He welcomed me with great Love, tranquillity, Peace (undescribable), no words, I felt "I can sit at your feet forever and be content," which struck me as a strange thing to think/say/feel, I became fascinated by the fabric of His robe, trying to figure out how light could be woven!

He stood beside me and directed me to look to my left, where I was replaying my life's less complementary moments, I relived those moments and felt not only what I had done but also the hurt I had caused, some of the things I would have never imagined could have caused pain, I was surprised that some things I may have worried about, like shoplifting a chocolate as a child, were not there whilst casual remarks which caused hurt unknown to me at the time were counted, when I became burdened with guilt I was directed to other events which gave joy to others, although I felt unworthy it seemed the balance was in my favour, I received great Love.

I was led further into the room, which became a hall and there coming towards me was my Grandfather, he looked younger than I remembered and was without his Hare lip or cleft pallet, but undoubtedly my grandfather, we hugged, he spoke to me and welcomed me, I was moved to forgive him for dying when I was 14 and making me break my promise, to become a Doctor and find a cure for his heart condition, until that moment I had not realized I had been angry at him!

Granddad told me that Grandma was coming soon and he was looking forward to her arrival, I enquired why she was coming soon as she had been travelling from her home in Manchester, to NZ, To Miami for continual summer for a number of years! Granddad told me she had Cancer of the Bowel and was coming soon, Granddad seemed to have no grasp of time when I pressed for how soon. (Grandma was diagnosed 3 months later and died in August, I had upset my mother by telling her about it when I regained consciousness.), after Granddad and I had talked a while he took me further into the room which became a hall again, we approached a group of people whom I started to recognize.

The Person who first welcomed me came and placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me towards Him, He said "You must return, you have a task to perform.," I wanted to argue, I wanted to stay, I glanced back at Granddad and was propelled quickly towards the entrance, at the threshold all became blackness, nothing, no awareness.

After: I awoke from my coma slowly, over several days, half dreamed memories of familiar voices and glimpses of faces. The clearest moments were several occasions where I would awake from deep sleep to find a nurse with a syringe and I refused any Drugs, I have no idea why!

I had three lots of surgery to repair my face, skull, eye socket. Left hospital with Pain, double vision, anosmia, and damage to 8th cranial nerve left me with nausea and disturbed balance. I was for two years angry at G-d, for sending me back in such torment, with a task to do with no clues or instructions, only one thing a clear message I have no idea how to pass on, which is "It is time to live according to your Beliefs, whatever they may be, to put your House in order, For the End Times are upon us!" This can't be my task, there was no booming voice, or any way I know the message got there. I am also unsure of the identity of the gatekeeper, no nametag, no introduction!

It took me 5 years as a zombie, before I was able to rehabilitate myself, I have gainful employment, formed the Head Injury Society NZ. in 1987, and am paraded as the example of how well it is possible to recover from Acquired Brain Damage.

I still don't know my task, still have pain, anosmia, diplopia, etc.

Thats about it except to say that the memory of the NDE is more real than what I did yesterday.

Shalom....Peace & Love -=<< R. T.>>=


I was in an earthquake.

I am curious about my own experiences, that do not fit the traditional NDE.

I was in an earthquake in 1971 thought to be an 8.3 at the epicenter, where I lived. The silence right before it gave me a dreadful forboding, and the sound of the earthquake was so loud that it was as if there was no more sound. (To this day, I cannot tolerate certain sounds or extreme loud noises) Everything in my room fell and was thrown around like a demon had it, and me. I hit two opposite walls, and then was buried under the contents of the room, and the ceiling.

I remember a feeling of surrender, and the subsequent serenity, the likes of which I have never known since. I felt as if I belonged, finally. Still, I was concerned for my family, and I somehow extracted myself from under the debris, and passed through a door that later was impossible to pass through, the crack was about 3 inches wide, and the sill had been crushed during the quake so that the door had to be taken off with crow-bars later. I passed out of the door without effort, and walked toward the end of the house where the rest of the family was.

Later, I saw what I had walked over, huge shards of broken gallon jugs, shattered window panes, broken plates and crystal. I passed through a door, and I remember opening it, or feeling through it, as it was pitch dark. Once again, I had no fear, no worry, nothing. My father was on the other side of the door, and grasped my hand. At that moment, I was catapulted out of the serene state into full blown hysterics. Since it happened in a split second, it is hard to believe that all of this happened, but I literally felt sucked out, like in a black hole vortex, and placed in my body. I suffered from shock afterwards for several days, or a week. Still, my feet had no cuts, I was not bruised, nothing was broken, and I was completely uninjured in anyway.

Since the NDE seems to require the departure of the soul from the body, I know doubt I had an NDE. I was very peacefully in my body all through the experience.

But the experience of seeing THE REAL TRUTH fits this experience. I had the same thing when my husband died suddenly and I was two months pregnant. I was so moved by this experience, and so insulted by the people who pitied me, since I felt then, and still do ten years later, that I was given something of such precious and rare value, even with the pain, that it had to be shared.

Subsequently five years ago, I wrote a book called, Companion Through The Darkness, Inner Dialogues on Grief. It's in it's seventh printing. It speaks to the grieving ones left behind, and validates this epiphany that has absolutely changed us, seemingly down to our DNA.

From both of these experiences, I have been driven to serve others, to seek the real ones out from the unconscious ones. I have an urgency to confront and change my own self destructive tendencies, and there are few things except unconsciousness of others, that can get my goat any more.

What do you call this experience?
Thank you for your time.

Stephanie Ericsson

NDE Changed My Life.

It was another dreadfully cold and snowy Monday in Indianapolis; a town far away from home and a place I truly dispised. I did not have family near by and I was in a terrible marriage. On that November 15, 1993, the fear of cancer was added to my already, unsettled life and the only option was surgery.

As I woke up in the recovery room, I heard a voice telling me that there was no cancer. Shortly thereafter, I realized something was very wrong. There were many alarmed voices and fast moving bodies huddling over me. I was crying out, "WHAT IS WRONG?," yet no one would answer. I reached for someone, but my arms would not move. My vision failed me and I could only hear faint voices, the most prominent one stating, "Her blood pressure is dropping, oh my God, we are losing her, get the ventilator!" Panic began to overcome me and I screamed, "PLEASE, HELP ME!"

A beautiful, luminous light appeared. It was so pretty and peaceful looking. As I slowly walked towards the light, I could feel a glorious warmth on my face. It made me feel content and happy for the first time in years and I wanted to stay there forever. However, I heard many noises behind me and turned back. I could see the doctors and nurses working on my lifeless body. At this point, going towards the light was so easy compared to my complicated life.

Once again, I turned to walk into the light and this time I heard some familiar voices behind me. As I turned to look, I could hear my children crying, "Mommy, please don't leave us!" Both of them were reaching out for me. There was a beautiful light on one side and my children on the other, what to do?

The next thing I remember was opening my eyes and the light was replaced with a green wall. The voice I heard was a nurse telling me, "welcome back." I had been in a coma for three days.

This experience changed my life. I made many changes and now my children and I are very happy. Sometimes, I can not believe I had to think about the choice of the light or my children, but I am thankful for the choice I made.

Has anyone else ever had to make such a choice during their NDE? Was this a voluntary return or just not my time yet? --T.


Glimpse of the AfterLife.

While giving birth to my second child I prayed to die because I couldn't stand the pain.

Suddenly I felt myself floating out of my body and I felt no more pain. I was watching from above a woman have a baby and I felt sorry for her. Then I realized it was me. I was confused but I knew that I couldn't leave my babies.

I asked instead not to die because they needed me. Then I was back in my body. I did not leave the room or see God.

I do have memories of a thick silver rope or cord that I was attached to. What was that?


Eleven months ago, while in ICU for nearly a month with pneumonia, I died 3 times. One of the times I remember specifically. I remember every small detail of dying, leaving this world, etc.

I woke back up from this one special time, and remember being "SO" disappointed that the nurse standing there over me was Not an Angel. Oh, How I Wanted This to Be Heaven, where I was waking up to!

Everyone else who has had a NDE seems to have such clearcut words of "prophecy" on why they are still here; I do not. I am just still here. Perhaps to continue being a father, a husband, etc..... I don't know.

Yet, the experience has profoundly changed my life, in many ways. But something that continues to "bother" me is the, for lack of a better way to describe them, the "personality changes" that have occured within me.

The Mercedes Benzs' are no longer important. The real estate is no longer important. The small things just don't matter anymore. In fact, THINGS just don't matter anymore. Money has little meaning now; it used to be everything (almost).

I used to be cold all the time. Now I am not; in fact, I am usually warm when others say they are feeling a chill. I don't like the same things I used to like; I like different things/activities than I ever used to, and so on. I used to play the piano beautifully; I haven't touched the instrument but one time since the NDE

I used to suffer from depression. Years of depression. Now I don't.

I am having trouble "finding myself" after this experience. I feel separated, apart from who I used to be. I feel as though if I were to meet my wife for the first time today, I wouldn't even give her a second glance. Cold as it is to say, she is just not the type of woman I could ever imagine being in love with. I OFTEN feel "not myself" yet more complete and more understanding than ever before.

Has ANYONE else felt the same? How/What helped lead to your rejoining life?

I simply don't feel I will ever be the same again. Moreover, I don't even feel the "want" to be the same person I used to be.


Cesarian Section.

My children were all born by Cesarian section.

The NDE I had was with the birth of my oldest daughter. I was on the operating table; I had just received spinal anesthesia. They rolled me to my back and suddenly I remember being above the table and looking down at my body surrounded by the doctors and nurses. I can remember the doctor saying: "We've lost her pressure; we need to get this baby out". I then remember being back on the table with the anesthesiologist saying: "You gave us a little scare".

I remember a feeling of total peace; the action going on was "interesting" but not frightening or worrisome. I remember floating and the scene below getting smaller and smaller until I was suddenly back in my body.

This experience has helped me to be less fearful of death; and to know that there is truly an "afterlife". This has true significance to me as I lost my son 9 years ago in an accident. I know he is at peace and happy.

Thanks for reading.


It Wasn't My Time.


I wanted to share this event with someone, so I thought I'd pick the anonymous internet.

About 10 years ago, I was going thru a very challenging point in my life, and I thought I had no way out. I bought a bottle of over-the-counter sleeping pills and 4 wine coolers. I took an over-dose and guzzled the coolers. I looked at the clock in the car and figured I had about 30 minutes or so.

At that point, things felt very...calm. My worries literally disappeared. However, about 20 minutes later, I felt a panic. I "had" to get the pills out of me. I went to the hospital, told them that I accidentally took an overdose of sleeping pills. For some reason they did not pump my stomache, they instead put me on a bed in the emergency ward and kept me under watch.

I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. At one point, I opened my eyes and it was as though I had white gauze over my eyes -- everything was hazy.

Standing at the foot of my hospital bed was a beautiful woman, dressed in a white flowing robe. Even though she was stunning and beautiful, I was not attracted physically to her. It was...different. She stood there, smiling at me, very serenely. She walked to the left side of my bed and put her hand on the side railing. I "knew" if I touched her hand, something would....happen. I lifted my hand, it felt very heavy. I raised it above hers, and let it fall onto her hand.

Well, in an instant, my hand touched not her hand, but the rail. My vision was suddenly unobscured by the white haze -- it was gone, and there was no beautiful lady at my side.

Perhaps it wasn't my time.

I have pondered whether I should share this event, fearing ridiculing remarks. However, it is posted now, so let it stand as my testimony.


Sharing My N.D.E.

I was a young, 'tough guy' years ago. Another life, it seems. I was in Northern Ontario, looking for work in the mines when I happened to get into a 'scuffle' with another young tough guy. I fell and hit my head (the temple) on the corner of a metal waste container on my way to the floor. I was on my hands and knees, looking at the blood streaming from my skull into a pool on the tiles.

I looked up and saw that I was no longer in the room I had been in, but, I was outside in a beautiful setting...rolling hills, trees, birds singing in the sky. I was surrounded by a large group of beings. They were in a circle around me, observing me as I kneeled before them.

There appeared to be order to their positions. The younger looking ones were in the front, closest to me. The older behind, peering over the heads and shoulders of the ones in front of them. All of them wore white robes and were hairless.(Bald). They were communicating with each other with their minds and I could 'hear' their thoughts in my mind, very, very clearly. The younger ones were asking of the older ones, 'Is he ready? Is he Coming? Should we help him? Is he ready? Is he Coming? Should we help him?' The older ones simply stated, 'Wait, be patient, wait.'

(Keep in mind, at this time in my life I was not spiritually involved or religious in any way. I was a tough guy and I felt -- and was proud -- that I walked alone.) I shook my head and found myself back in the room, bleeding profusely from the cut. My 'opponent' helped me to my feet and took me to get stitched up.

This vision was a profound and powerful event in my life, as you can imagine. It was some time ago (over 30 years) and there was not much talk those days about near death experiences, so I kept quiet about it, pondered it, absorbed it, and eventually found myself renewed by it. (I was not on drugs, either, so it was not a drug-induced hallucination.) This event occurred. It was real and I have no doubt of it's authenticity. I have been given a gift in this seeing and can tell you all with complete confidence.. You are not alone..EVER! And, there IS NO DEATH! Rejoice, be well, love!



I Feel Cheated...

I have been searching for God ever since I was a teenager (I am 40 yrs old now). In 1994, I was close to declaring myself an atheist...when I had a cardiac arrest. I was being treated for leukemia at this time and some of the meds I was taking caused major electrical problems in my heart. When the event occurred, I was not successfully shocked by the EMT's until many minutes later. I remained in a coma for two days afterwards. Being without O2 for so long left me with short term memory problems which still affect me today.

Anyway, my mother tells me that when I came to, I asked for two of my closest relatives (who had been deceased for YEARS). I was unaware that they were dead, and I stated that "I was just with them!" I was shocked to hear that they were dead. I have tried to remember more of this "possible" NDE, but only a few things pop into my mind when I attempt to recall it.

One -- was the sense that those relatives were WITH me, yet I really wasn't experiencing their presence with my 5 senses. I KNEW they were there, but I didn't necessarily see or hear them. But I felt that they were there for a reason.

Two -- was the feeling of being completely emotionally unattached to the people in the room where this event occurred (my mom/dad, my best friend, even myself). I was not upset, sad, emotional in any way at all. It was almost as if I was "ready" to move onward to wherever I was going. I felt calm, peaceful, not afraid.

Three -- I recall moving forward (walking? floating?) through a huge open field/valley with mountains in the distance. It was night time (the event happened at night, also), and I was sort of "following" my relatives. I sensed that I was going somewhere specific.

The reason why I say that I feel cheated is because so many folks described their NDE's with such clarity and detail -- no wonder it changes their lives. MY NDE memories are SO vague that I question whether or not it was even real. Like, after I was told that I was asking for my dead relatives...did I just sort of unknowingly "fabricate" these memories of the event? (sort of how a sketchy dream is described in more detail that it was actually remembered as..."embellishment", if you may).

Also, with my heartfelt search for God all these years (I am a scientist and thus, I tended to not believe so much in a spiritual world as I did a material world), WHY was I NOT allowed to experience this NDE to it's fullest? It would have been the answer that I had been searching for since my teen years (YES! There IS a God!)

One more question: If there is a spiritual world that we will all become a part of when we die, then why doesn't EVERYONE who "dies" and "comes back" claim to have a NDE?

Sigh...Any thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You!


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